The Politics of Change

Every election time, politicians come around with very sweet sounding rhetoric. Traditionally the world over, it has been the same script of ‘ better roads, better schools, water for everyone, higher standards of living, affordable healthcare’ and so forth. I recently listened to Barack Obama talking about broken bridges across the United States that need fixing using the money that so inexplicably goes to Iraq. It is the name of the game. Necessitated by the uniformity of these messages, some clever politicians introduced sufficiently ambiguous rhetoric; things like promising to bring back a sense of national pride, bringing people together and all that kind of crap. Woven into this discussion is the notion of change too (the kind that you can believe in, see or even Xerox. Some talk of change that is real). People like fantasy and that is why this kind of rhetoric works like a magic pill. Bill Clinton, easily one of the greatest presidents of the United States, used this argument of change to turn the tables against a sitting President who only months before the election was enjoying an unprecedented 90% approval rating, a President who was fresh from leading the country into sweet victory in the first gulf war. He gave hitherto unheard-off promises like allowing gays and lesbians in the military (something that turned out to be a gross mistake). His promise of a ‘new different America’ was pure charm. Did he live up to his promise? Well, it depends on how you want took at it. One thing we all agree on is that no President had received a blowjob in the oval office before. That’s definitely change. The 21st century face of change is of course Barack. He has done stuff no one would have ever imagined and this is all attributable to the same argument of change. We cannot pass judgment on him because he is yet to be elected, but a look at those being touted as likely cabinet members in an Obama administration points to another gimmick in the making. People that served in previous administrations continue to be the nerve centre of his campaign. At what point Bill Burton underwent a complete makeover, nobody knows. Bill Richardson and John Edwards, the same old politicians will supposedly help Obama deliver change to Americans. On that one, time will tell. Back home, we have been treated to this gimmickry as well. On 12th December last year, President Mwai Kibaki promised Kenyans what he called a “clean-hands” government. That is definitely high sounding. But this is a President who had been in power for five years. This is a President who had flatly refused to stand up for principle and tell economic criminals like Prof. George Saitoti that there was no room for people with questionable backgrounds in his cabinet. Some would have read betrayal in that, but then again it would have sent a clear message about a President truly committed to a different order, a new order. He did it again this year and he will do it again. Then there is the face of change in Kenyan politics, Raila Amolo Odinga. I will not talk about his very well documented personal involvement in crime and duplicity, but I will talk about his team members. Hon Raila calls himself “an agent of change”. Let us look at some of his fellow ‘agents of change’; Otieno Kajwang, a man whose name was stricken off the list of Advocates of the high court for petty crime, is Raila Odinga’s idea of a perfect immigration minister, after all the waragi he took at Makerere, just like conning legal clients, did not stand on his way to prominence! Henry Kosgey, the man credited with bringing down the Kenya National Assurance through out-of-control embezzlement of funds is the man to bring industrial change to Kenyans. William Ruto, Dalmas Otieno, William ole Ntimama and the other guys would, after all, be there to lend support. They have actually shown a very concerted commitment towards this end over the years. Then there is my party leader, Hon Kalonzo. During the Presidential debate that never was (he is the only candidate that showed up), he said this in response to a question; “……and this is going to come in the form of real change”. That made me cringe. Sir, did you not serve a backward regime for ten years? I love you, man, but please don’t lie to me. It is all about change that never was, change that will never be. It is all pandering!

The ODM's Concept of Democracy

My understanding of true democracy tells me that people should be given a free will to elect their leaders and in the event that their choices lose, then they should concede defeat, congratulate and embrace the winner and respect the choice of their opponents. Losing graciously not only earns you respect, it gets you more admiration. Like I have said elsewhere, no one can really tell who won last year’s polls. That election was pretty much a split decision and it actually doesn’t make a lot of sense dwelling on it. This uncertainty has been compounded by the seeming incompetence of the Electoral Commission and the security forces. Now because this is about grace and civility, I will not rub it upon the disciples of the ODM that they lost, or at least that some evidence suggests they did so fair and square. That, I will pass for now. I will, however, point out that the chief embarrassment was how they reacted to the announcement of the results by the body that is solely constitutionally mandated to announce the results. The usual way of handling conflicts is through the discourse of the court. No one should buy the crap that the compromised nature of our court system stopped them from seeking justice there because this same party filed the highest number of parliamentary petitions by any one single party in the history of our multi-party electoral politics. Considering the ODM gave the handling of the parliamentary and local authority elections a clean bill of health, this high number of petitions not only points to a party acutely reluctant to concede defeat, it also shows an inexplicable level of double standards. No wonder they are doing absolutely nothing to bring sanity to the courts if they truly believe the courts dance to the whims of the executive. They are not only occupying a central position in government, they also control the legislature. Why the lull? Come the by-elections. When the PNU coalition lost the Wajir seat against all reasonable expectations, their candidate hugged and congratulated the winner. He promised to do everything he could to help the elected opponent in his bid to make the constituency better. PNU and its partners, of course performed dismally in Emuhaya and Ainamoi and they accepted the verdict of the voter. The ODM’s reaction to the losses in Embakasi and Kipkelion, on the other hand, was not surprising. Their Embakasi candidate declared herself the winner and then proceeded to court. Kipkelion was blamed on negative ethnicity as if this was not ODM’s prime principle—as if this is not what keeps the party going. Yesterday, we were treated to the same old defeatist antics once again. The same party marauders who stopped the tallying of votes in Kamukunji in December were at it again trying to intimidate everybody. The returning officer and the winning candidate were called all kinds of names. People threatened violence and were it not for the heavy police presence, there would have been serious bloodshed. Which brings me to the questions; when are this party and its omnipotent caudillo ever going to lose a fair contest? When are they ever going to acknowledge the rationale behind competitive politics? Are they ever going to learn to respect the fact that their opponents can also get the better of them? Are they willing to upgrade their understanding of democracy? My conclusion which is in actual fact a belief I have always held is that the ODM does not defend its members; it preys on their ignorance and vulnerability. It does not stand for democracy; it perverts democracy. It desires not to free its members from political bondage; it desires to imprison its members within its own fascist, unorthodox and utterly misplaced conception of democracy. But then again, even Machiavelli would have appreciated all this!

I Go Put A Punch On Your Nose O!

After my Master’s degree from K.U., I was fortunate enough to land a well paying job (by Kenyan standards). Unfortunately, there wasn’t a single day I was even mildly interested in the job. For me, it was a means to an end. And the end was to save enough money, boost my bank statement, and happily jump into the swelling brain drain flood. After four years of careful planning and saving, I had a bank statement that could impress any Western embassy in Nairobi. To get out, I applied for a Master’s degree in one of the European countries, got my student visa, jumped on the plane, and landed in Europe.

During my preparation to leave Kenya, I had cultivated contacts in the city I had chosen as my new home. I knew only one of the contacts at personal level. I got to know the others through the ‘a-friend-to-a-cousin-to-an-aunt’ informal type of networks. Months before my travel I called these guys almost on a daily basis and ran up a huge bill on my home phone – which I didn’t mind – for I had no intention of paying it anyway. My plans were to pay all the bills I would run abroad. My simple rule was: Once out, there is no back.

I noticed a certain change in attitude as soon as I informed my ‘buddies’ that I had acquired a visa and had already bought my air ticket. Suddenly, most of them didn’t want to answer my calls anymore. I left messages on their answering machines but never got a call back. Using the networks mentioned earlier, I was able to get the physical address of one of the guys who had seemed the friendliest. So, I packed a few Tuskers (having heard they were rare) jumped on the plane and was in Europe. Planning to give my new found ‘friend’ a surprise visit, I took a taxi to his ‘apartment’. Boy was he wide-eyed and amazed when he opened the door bell and found me outside wearing my big sheepish grin. A bit confused, he welcomed me coldly. There were about 8 others who lived in the same apartment. He had a small room which he shared with two of his relatives.

He gave me the rules of the game:

1.I had to find myself a job, but he was quick to add, the best job I could hope to find was as a cleaner. I could also raise a few buck collecting bottles on the streets and taking them to recycling machines, he added.

2.I had to find a place to stay really quick, but he added it was very difficult for a black to find one. Whites highly distrusted blacks. His advice was I should find a black who had been fortunate to get a room, and hope he was willing to sub-let a corner of his room to me.

3.The highest level of self-deceit, he informed me, was to think that I could use my Kenyan educational qualifications. These, he told me, were as good as toilet paper.

4.Don’t trust any Kenyans. Most Kenyans will make sure you get into problems and get shipped back to Shamakhokho on a one-way ticket. That, he said, was the cardinal rule.

I had three weeks before commencement of classes. During this time, I tried to make contacts and find myself a room. He told me not to bother about attending college. Every other Kenyan I met told me:

‘Hapa tumekuja kutafuta pesa bro – SIO kusoma. Kama ni masomo, rudi Kenya usome bwana! Hakuna Mkenya anasoma hapa – kwani wewe ni mjinga wa kutoka wapi uanze kufikiria kusoma? No wonder wasee wa Shamakhokho mnatomba kuku!

I soon got a cleaning job and quit after the first day. I tried collecting bottles but found the competition to be cut-throat. There were just too many bottle collectors. After quitting the cleaning job and the bottle-collecting enterprise, the Kenyan who had taken me in kicked me out for gross insubordination. I had made the unforgivable mistake of going out for a walk without asking for permission!

So I took bags and walked to the nearest train station. I didn't know where to go. Luckily, my ‘primitive’ social Kenyan side was still fresh in me. I tried to talk to people but they made such a diversion as soon as I said ‘Excuse me’, - I thought I must have looked out of place or something. Whenever I saw a fellow African and started approaching, they turned and sped away. Some brave ones sternly looked at my sheepish grin and extended hand and said:

‘Leave me alone o! Or I go put a punch on your nose o!’

Sometimes an African woman chanced by and rubbing my hands with excitement, I would widen my grin and be like:

‘Excuse me sister…’

‘Am NOT your SISTER o! Do you know my moda? I said do you know my MODA? Leave me alone o!’

To cut the long story short – I survived. And I finally got myself a job that I like very much. I did clean a bit as I settled down. But that isn't today's story. Today, I have a question, or rather a wonder: why do we Kenyans in the Diaspora hate each other so? Or did I just fall into the wrong crowd?

After my nightmare was over, in my early days in Europe, sometimes I would call home and my mother would be like,

‘Oh praise be to God Masinde – when did you get out of jail?’

Apparently, a fellow caring 'Diasporian' had called ‘a-friend-to-a-cousin-of-an-aunt’ and said I was in jail for statutory rape. Other times, news in Shamakhokho were that I had become a criminal who specialized in mugging ‘illegals’ who couldn’t complain to the police or that I made my money as a homosexual prostitute.

I have talked with many Kenyans living in different parts of the world, and the story isn’t any different. Kenyans in the Diaspora are famous for selling out each other.

If every time you see a newly-arrived Kenyan, anger builds inside and you are like screaming in your mind:

‘I go put a punch on your nose o!’

think again. There is space for all of us in here. New arrivals don’t mean we’ll have to lose our place, and get shipped back to so that the new arrival can can find space?

Just a few cents from the Son of Shamakhokho.

Terrified of Terrorists? Think Again!

Recently, I watched a BBC Panorama documentary that confirmed my worst fears about the so-called 'war on terrorism'. The investigative reporter interviewed M16 agents as well as relatives of the 7/7 London terrorists. To cut the long story short, the reporter documented credible evidence that that M16 had prior information about the impending terrorist attack. Yet, they did nothing. Independent American investigators have for long insisted that both the FBI and CIA had prior information of the 9/11 attacks. Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 911 is a must see for anybody interested in hearing something out of the conventional US government propaganda that is continually being forced down our throats.

10 years ago, Kenya bore the blunt of terrorism. I don't think we can blame our security forces for a lapse that allowed the terrorists to strike. If truth be told, NSIS has never cared much about the country's security. Its agents in the field are too busy bribe-hunting to give a hoot about terrorism. If our DULY ELECTED president got a call from Osama, Kibaki would personally organize a terrorist attack on Kenya if Osama paid him the correct price. But then, that is another story.

The CIA and M16 possess the very, best cutting-edge, state of the art technological tools. They can, for example,'sniff' the entire internet´s traffic 24/7. All IM, e-mail, or Voip telephone calls are routinely sniffed for 'terrorist´' key words and snipets.It is now standard procedure that all international calls in and out of the US and Europe are sniffed for terrorist codes. They have had this capability prior to 9/11. The network of CIA informers spurns the entire globe. And yet, the terrorists managed to break through the 'wall of steel anti-terror machine'? That is what we are told.

So, who are these daring terrorists? Why do they seem unstoppable? Don't misunderstand me. I know for a fact that there are militant muslim and non-muslim terrorists who will blow the world to pieces if they had the slightest opportunity or capability. The West's unquestionable support for Israel's inhuman treatment of the Palestinians continues to fuel young muslims anger. 9/11, the Madrid attack, London's 7/7 is a stark reminder to the West that they must remain united in their resolve to defeat fundamental muslim terrorists.

September 11 changed the world. Immigration will never be the same. English and Literature students in leading universities on every continent now analyse Don De Lillo's Falling Man; Jonathan Safran Foer's Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close; Ken Kalfu's A Disorder Peculiar to the Country; Mohsin Hamid's The Reluctant Terrorist; and Ian McEwan's Saturday among other works in the now popular field of Post-9/11 literature.In all texts, the underlying theme is that blood-thirsty terrorists attacked the United States of America. Forensic science has never been more popular. Almost every discipline now has bragging rights to its own brand of forensics - an important tool not only in the fight against terrorists, but also invaluable in the conviction of terrorists.

What I am trying to say is that 9/11 brought forth a new world order of 'good' vs 'evil'. Terrorists were behind the Nairobi and Dar bombing; September 11; the London bombing; and many other recent attacks in many countries around the world. 9/11 however, is the attack that changed everything. But 9/11 was no surprise. America knew it was going to be attacked. They did nothing. Powerful men in the administration knew there was more to be gained from an actual attack on US soil, than a foiled attack. They knew the importance of a scared populace. How citizens pull together and unite in catastrophic moments. Bush´s approval rating after the terror attacks skyrocketed to 88% - the highest ever recorded in American presidential history. This, despite the fact that a few months before the terror attacks, he had record negative ratings - survey after survey.

We now live in a world of 'hate' laws. Countries have raced each other in the implementation of terror laws. Those who seem to drag their feet are constantly reminded by the US of the importance of these laws for the security of the entire world.

Is the world getting safer? Yes. We are safe because crooked presidents will have a tough time looking the other way, while their countries are 'attacked'. The Madrid bombings brought about a regime change. Citizens are slowly waking up to the fact that their biggest fear isn't Allah's 72 virgins that spur terrorists into their actions, but crooked leaders who prey upon their electorate's fear to manipulate them. If you must have it spelt out in black and white: 9/11 was a political mind-control tactic. And yes, it worked wonders.

If you must still be afraid, fear crooked leaders - NOT Quran carrying youth.